…by joining my Facebook page and Twitter!

Hi lovely friends & followers! I apologize for my absence from this wonderful blog I created over two years ago. I’m working full-time coordinating fundraising events for my local food bank and am also in graduate school full-time. That said, I am super busy! Great – but busy. Please join me on The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life’s Facebook page where I post inspiring pictures, quotes and thoughts on a daily basis.

The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life Facebook Page

If you’re more of a tweeter, follow me on Twitter by clicking here.

Thanks so much, my friends! Wishing you all happiness, peace of mind, and strength.

xoxo

-Jordan

Elise McDowell

I recently connect with an inspiring, beautiful, BOLD young woman named Elise McDowell from Auckland, New Zealand. Elise started her own website, The Inner Vibrance Project, with hopes to help others feel happy, fearless and vibrant. As stated on her website, “The IVP is for girls & women to learn how to practice self love, find real happiness (in themselves and not another person, drugs or alcohol). Discover how to find the joy and magic in life and dismiss the fears that hold them back. I chose to put this into a project because I truly believe that it is every woman’s right to feel vibrant, majestic and powerful.” I couldn’t agree more! And why exactly should we listen to Elise? Well, as she puts it: “I’m a badass mofo who is OBSESSED with living a high-powered positive & successful life!” Doesn’t that say it all? I love what she stands for as a woman and her drive to empower others is awe-inspiring. I recently read a post of hers titled,”How to Get Self Confidence & Feel Good About Yourself” on HerFuture.com and, with her permission, am re-blogging this entry on my blog today. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did and please check out http://www.elisemcdowell.com/ when you’re finished!

Love,

Jordan

After the mega hit of ‘a delicious recipe for sexy confidence‘, ya’ll told me you wanted more!

Well now we’re digging deep.

We’re going in full speed ready to get your self confidence and quality of life up to where you want it.. Beaming with awesomeness!

As you know, anything you want that will be liberating and rewarding for you requires time, patience and effort. (Hell that’s the “secret” recipe for everything in life!) You gotta decide now whether you can be ass-ed putting this effort into you. Because I tell ya, it will test you and challenge you and push you to your limits. One moment you’re on cloud nine, next you’re balling your eyes out to the bottom of a Ben and Jerry’s.

You get what you put in. If you do the work once today, maybe once next month and for 2 days the next week, your results are gonna be scattered and make you feel like a class-A schizophrenic. If you’re gonna half-ass it, you’re gonna get half-assed results. If you take little steps each day, you’ll get better and better each day. Get it?

There is no mystery recipe to life except that it gives you exactly what you put into it.

So in order to gain self confidence and feel good about yourself you must start with baby steps.

How to Have Self Confidence & Feel Good About Yourself
List your past achievements

Get out the self-love journal and make a list of all of your past achievements big or small. From the compliment you got on the red lipstick you wore to the most outstanding achievement certificate you got in primary school – name it ALL and get DAMN proud of it all. Be like your former 5yr old who gets the medal and does nothing but stare at it, talk about it and praise it.

Write out your strengths

Time to dig a lil deeper. I recently did this exercise in terms of discovering what my acting strengths were and it took quite a while but I got a good list in the end. On a new page in your journal, write your strengths – yes even if it’s guzzling a pint Guinness in 5 seconds flat.

What’s important to you?
On a new page in your journal, write out what is important to you right now. What values do you have? What will you not tolerate? What friends, boyfriends and family members are #1 on your list? What must you do every morning, afternoon and evening? How often? Write it all out and create a personal map for yourself.

Where do you wanna go?
I’ll admit one of my favourite exercises – write out exactly where you want to head in life. Even if it’s multiple places, just write it out – get it out. Do you want to travel and have a career? Do you want money and independence? What about a relationship and babies? Do you want apples or oranges? Puppies or kittens? Bargain or couture? Money or spirituality? Don’t worry if one contradicts each other, just write everything that comes to mind.

Commit to yourself

Make a promise to yourself that you will do this work, that you will strive for success no matter what obstacles you face. Knowing that they’ll pop up is a strong part in making them less powerful. Write a statement or declaration to yourself in your journal that you will do this. Kinda like my 4 simple goals I created the other week.

Set small goals
Give yourself something to work toward every 1 – 3 months. Take up a class of something you’ve always wanted to do like dancing or sewing. Join a sports club that you’ve been interested in or start learning that language you’ve always been fascinated by. And at the end of each completed goal, reward yourself with something you like.

Work on the mind
So simple to say, but it’s actually gotta become a daily practise. Whether it’s meditating, reading, affirming, researching, manifesting, visualizing, focusing etc each day you gotta commit to working on your mind. Because anything you want to change and create starts with your mind. You gotta work on the actual source to get to where you wanna go.

Confront your insecurities
Now it’s time to go deeper. On another page in your journal, write out all your fears and insecurities. Whatever comes up just write it out. Some will be ones you’ve known about, others will come out of nowhere. The important thing here is to get them out and know what they are so you can work through them

Talk it out with friends

You’re bound to have at least one friend you can talk about all of this stuff with and ask for advice. You’ll be surprised to know that most people go through the same things and if some of your friends have already been through it, you have a great little support network right there.

Look for others you admire

What I mean is, look for people who you feel are like you but are where you wanna be and start interacting with them or research the crap outta them. Start applying the things they do and find out if it works for you.

Get your gratitude on

And last but certainly not least, give the gratitude! Show your appreciation for being here and for being you. Be grateful for your brand new confidence and your sassy new attitude. Basically just adopt a characteristic and gratefulness!

So there ya go! Lots to work with but if you take it in baby steps you’ll find that it’s actually easy to apply. To get to where you truly want to be, you gotta start from the inside out. Remember not to rush, you can’t rush your learning process. But with each new thing you apply you will find yourself getting more and more confident each day.

Have fun!

Elise xo

To read more inspiring and insightful articles written by Elise or to connect with The Inner Vibrance Project, please visit http://www.elisemcdowell.com/.

It’s November! I think I’ve been a little too giddy for my own good these past few days. I’m turning 23 on Monday and can’t believe that my 22^nd year of life is coming to an end. It’s been an exciting, fun, whirlwind of a year for me with the release of my first book, to starting Grad school, to gaining new friends and strengthening my relationships with old ones, to learning SO much more about myself and the world at large. This year has definitely had its challenges but each of them has allowed me to become more in touch with myself, which I am grateful for. I am entering my 23^rd year with a heart of gratitude, a positive spirit, and an optimistic view of what’s yet to come. Bring it on, 23!

Other than celebrating my day of birth, November also brings another one of my favorite holidays: Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie galore, quality time to spend with loved ones, and a day devoted to giving thanks? You know I’m in! With the holidays quickly approaching, I wanted to take this blog-tunity (blogging opportunity? I think I just made up a word…) to shine light on how you can have the happiest holidays yet. Here’s a few tips for making the most of your holiday season this year:

1. Be thankful. I believe that being grateful is the first step to manifesting happiness. I also believe that what you focus on grows. When we are grateful and remain in the “miracle mindset” (viewing life itself as a miracle: seeing the bright side of every situation, finding the lesson and opportunity in every difficulty, and choosing to make the most of our moments), we are ultimately setting ourselves up for greater joy and peace of mind. If you’re feeling blue at any point during this holiday season, take a few moments to distract yourself by counting your blessings. As a wise one once said, “Count your blessings and your problems. If your problems outnumber your blessings, count again. Chances are the things that you take for granted were not added up.” Being thankful shouldn’t just happen on turkey day once a year— it should be a way of life.

2.Practice kindness. After reveling in all that you are grateful for, how you can return service to another? How can you help make someone’s holidays a little happier this year? Maybe you can host a Sandy relief event at your church, donate cans to a food drive, volunteer at your local soup kitchen, or simply live each day with a kind heart and loving soul toward others. Whichever way you chose to practice kindness, you are making this world a more positive place to be in and are bettering yourself in the process. As I state in The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life, “The greatest act of kindness is one that is given to someone with no care if it is returned. By being kind and compassionate, you will be rewarded by having a greater sense of purpose and impact on this earth and in-turn, greater happiness. Could you reap a more fulfilling benefit?”

3. Treat yourself. Feel selfish or guilty when you think about taking some time for you? Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project says that “me time” is necessary for our happiness and well-being. She shares, “When we feel happy ourselves, we have the emotional wherewithal to turn outwards. Taking the time to boost your spirits and your energy will help you contribute to the happiness of others.” I couldn’t agree more. Instead of feeling selfish or guilty when wanting to treat yourself to something special, remind yourself that by helping you…you are bettering others and our world in the process. Whether it’s an extra piece of pumpkin pie, a new pair of boots, or a spa day with your best friend – go head, indulge. You deserve it.

4. Find time to relax. Every day. The holiday season for me is wonderful…but also busy, busy, busy. From family gatherings, to turning in papers (almost done with my first semester of Grad school!), to keeping up with work and a social life, this holiday season is going to be swarming with activities. While it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle-and-bustle, it’s crucial to our well-being to have a healthy dose of relaxation with all the recreation goin’ on in our lives. I’m making it my goal this holiday season to relax every single day. Whether it’s a bubble bath, a twenty-minute meditation sesh before bed, or snuggling up on the couch to watch a good TV show (I’m hooked on The Voice this fall!), allow yourself to have some down time to avoid burnout from high levels of stress. Relaxation keeps our stress levels down, keeps us healthy, and can increase the overall quality of our lives. I’ll never forget the quote from Ovid that I once heard, “A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and safe November and holiday season! My prayers and positive vibes will continue for all of those affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Happy celebrating life,

Jordan Brown

Check out my book The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life! Available on Amazon (as an eBook and hard-copy) and Barnes & Noble.

Failure. Loser. Worthless. Disgusting. Unsuccessful. Ugly. Fat. Stupid. Lame. Have you recently labeled yourself as one of these belittling titles? Chances are, you have at one point or another. Maybe last week, maybe yesterday, or maybe even five minutes ago. If so, I can guarantee you that you are not alone… I’m right there with ya! Assigning certain negative labels to ourselves at times is normal and expected, as we’re all human. While we I don’t think it’s realistic to expect to feel confident, secure, and good about ourselves every minute of every day, we can integrate positive thinking into daily routine, which will ultimately add to our happiness, self-worth, and well-being.

Today I wanted to write this blog to help you rid yourself of the negative labels you assign to yourself on daily basis. First, I’d like you to ponder about this idea (you don’t have to necessarily agree with it, just think about it): when you assign a label to yourself (positive or negative) you giving others permission to assign the same label to you. Others are likely (but maybe not always) to view you as you view yourself. How can you expect someone else to consider you smart, brave, caring or confident when you yourself are in disbelief? Think about it.

Over the years I have learned that labels that you assign to yourself can either build or break your self-worth. When you tell yourself that you are beautiful, strong, smart, independent, worthy, etc…you are just that. You are unstoppable. You go through life with an unbreakable confidence and love for yourself because you have thought yourself there. On the other hand, when you tell yourself that you are unlovable, disgusting, worthless, stupid, etc…you have also thought yourself there.

Break free.

So how do we unthink ourselves from somewhere dark? How do we escape from that insecure and lonely jail cell we have locked ourselves into? Well…we break free. We release ourselves. We make a commitment that we will leave our negative labels behind us and instead adopt positive beliefs about ourselves. This doesn’t exactly happen overnight, but it can happen over time if you make progress each and every day. Is this easy? Not necessarily. Is it possible? Definitely.

One thing you can do right now, which will hopefully benefit you from here on out, is pick at least three words from the word list below. Write them on your hand, type them into a note on your cell phone, jot them down on a post-it note to stick in your wallet, or simply store them in your mind. Anytime throughout your day today that you start to assign a negative label to yourself (old or new), whip out your note and repeat: “I am ____, _____, _____.” Until you feel ready to let go of the mistake you made, the harsh judgment you have formed, the negativity you are feeling toward yourself, or the feeling that you don’t measure up in some way.

Positive labels: Beautiful. Smart. Strong. Wise. Learning. Growing. Encouraging. Helpful. Successful. Forgiving. Loved. Bold. Respectful. Confident. Fierce. Unstoppable. Unique. Energetic. Trustworthy. Sincere. Loyal.

You can also start to challenge your negative beliefs. When you start to assign a negative label to yourself, ask yourself, “Am I really a (insert harsh or negative belief) or is this just something I’m creating in my head based on this one particular experience?” Talk yourself through the situation, question your own thinking, and become more self-aware of the way in which you speak to yourself when difficulties or conflicts arise.

If you have trained your mind to think negatively, you will have to work toward retraining it. This takes time. Be patient with yourself. Yesterday, I had to repeat my personal pep-talk FIFTEEN (yes, 1-5) times in a situation where I felt completely defeated. Be persistent. Breathe deeply. Give your mind time and space to welcome in positive (and maybe even foreign) beliefs about yourself. Keep practicing and you can create a more positive self-image from habitual practice and effort.

To end this post, I’ll leave you with a note I jotted down in my journal last night:

“Although I have settled for way less than I deserve, I am not worthless. I have broken down and cried many times, I am not weak. Although I sometimes complain about my deal in life, I am not ungrateful. Although I sometimes put myself down, I am not my enemy. Although I may not look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model, I am not ugly. Although I have made mistakes, I am not a failure.

I am wise, strong, brave, and beautiful. I am human; I am me.”

Happy labeling myself with love,

Jordan Brown

Check out my recently published book, The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life! It’s available as an eBook and soft-cover!

I’m so ecstatic that it’s finally fall — my favorite season! While it doesn’t necessarily feel like fall in Southern California yet (although iced pumpkin spice lattes make a nice treat when it’s 80 degrees outside), I am looking forward to wearing scarves & boots, sipping hot cocoa, and celebrating my favorite fall holidays (candy corn and pumpkin pie, anyone?). And, another big bonus that fall offers — my birthday is right around the corner; one month from tomorrow (Nov. 5)!

Fall, for me, also takes on a whole new meaning this year. Two words: graduate school. While I’m really enjoying my program (Masters of Science in Counseling and Guidance) and the courses I’m taking, I haven’t had as much time to compose blog posts lately. My free time used to be full of writing about happiness, self-esteem, and well-being and now it’s consumed with reading scholarly articles and writing reports on education, academic advising, and counseling in a school setting. This is the main reason my blog posts have been less frequent lately. I’ll continue to post about once a month on here (or more if my free time permits), but I do post daily on my Facebook page, which you can check out and ‘like’ here.

I wanted to share with you all a recent interview I had with a high school classmate, and new friend of mine, The Sunny Girl, Lauren Cook. In the interview, I discuss my recently published book, The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life (click here to read more about the book) and my advice for living a happy life. Check it out by clicking on the link below:

http://thesunnygirl.com/2012/10/04/sunny-star-jordan-brown/

I wanted to thank Lauren for giving me the opportunity to be on her inspiring blog. She’s a true gem in this world who is sharing happiness with anyone and everyone she comes into contact with. Feel free to check out her Facebook page and Twitter, which you can find on her blog by clicking the link above.

Wishing you all a happy start to your fall season. I hope to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter!

Happy falling into fall,

Jordan Brown

Check out The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life on Amazon.com! (available as an eBook and hard copy version)