Motivation is contagious. Start spreading it.

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has been hurt in some way or another. We all heal and cope with pain differently, but some people accumulate grudges after being hurt and create a mindset full of anger, frustration, and confusion. Maybe it’s a way to protect ourselves from similar happenings in the future or maybe it’s simply the easiest way to deal with our damaged feelings. Regardless of the reason, by holding onto grudges or staying angry at another, the only person you end up hurting is yourself. Just as Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Holding a grudge surely won’t take back the harm done to you and also won’t make your healing process go any more quickly or smoothly. Remaining bitter will only enable you to carry negative emotions into your future relationships or experiences, trapping you in downward spiral of unhappiness and frustration. When you let go of grudges and release the resentment you have accumulated over time, you are forgiving the ones who have betrayed you. With the right attitude, you have the power to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you, opening up your heart to a whole new world flourishing with peace and love.

I experienced the power of forgiveness on one cool spring evening during my senior year of college. I was lying in bed reading an online article about the power of forgiveness and how liberating it can be. I can’t remember exactly what the article said or who wrote it, but it was obviously powerful enough to persuade me to practice forgiveness, a concept that was relatively new to me. Moments after finishing the article, I decided I was tired of hoarding resentment towards the ones who’ve previously harmed me – why let them continue to hurt me by staying mad? I pondered, the past is the past and I must leave it at that. Hate and anger really do take so much energy. From now on, I will use this energy instead to practice compassion and forgiveness.

I forgave an ex-boyfriend for betraying me, an old friend for being disloyal, a man I dated who failed to tell me that he was engaged, among a few others. During my episode of forgiveness, I cried for about five minutes straight. My pillow was absolutely soaked. But these weren’t tears of sadness; these were tears of happiness. I had never loved myself as much before as I did in those five minutes of sobs. After I had no tears left in me, I realized that my feelings towards the ones who have hurt me transformed entirely, and I no longer felt anger towards them. I felt a deep sense of inner-peace and compassion.

Releasing grudges and welcoming compassion into my heart has one of the most therapeutic experiences for me. For so long, every time I thought about the harm done to me, I would find myself bursting with frustration, pointlessly pondering how someone could have the audacity to commit such careless acts. Now when I think about the people who have betrayed me, I no longer have hard feelings towards them; I understand that I can’t control anyone’s actions but my own. Although I decided to forgive these individuals, I will not forget their wrongdoings; I just won’t let their past actions disrupt my current state of mind.

During my episode of forgiveness, I also forgave myself for holding onto grudges and for not being able to let go of the anger sooner. The next morning, I woke up with red, swollen eyes, but with a heart full of love; love for others, and most importantly, love for myself. From that day forward, I made the decision to live a life full of love towards the ones who’ve caused me joy, instead of a life full of hate towards the ones who’ve caused me sorrow.

Would you like to do the same? If so, practice forgiveness.

Happy forgiving,

Life really is beautiful and extraordinary. It’s just that so many of us pile worries, anxieties, and judgments on top if its greatness, making it hard to see life as it really is. This concept can easily be related to the big, beautiful sky that rests above us. Think about it – the sun is always shining, but sometimes we can’t see its shimmer because of the dense clouds that cover it. The same goes for our attitudes. The sun is always shining within us – it’s just that we cover it so heavily with anxieties, worries, and judgments that it’s often hard to notice, and revel in, its radiance.

If you had no worries, no self-doubts, no insecurities, no anxieties, no negative thoughts…life would be really great, wouldn’t it? Well, it may be grand but it would also be unnatural. While we are human and we can’t expect to be 100% free from negativity, I think we all have the potential to attract positive energy into our lives. We can work daily towards stressing less, becoming more confident, letting go of what we cannot control, and thinking thoughts that benefit our happiness and well-being alike. As long as we make small positive steps each day, whether it be writing in a daily gratitude journal or reciting affirmations, we are starting somewhere, rather than nowhere. As long as we make a commitment to continuous personal growth and development, we are on the right track. As long as we make the decision to never stay stagnant or settle for mediocrity, we are on our way to peace and bliss.

This week, I have decided that my mantra is “let it go.” Anytime I start to stress, complain, or pass judgment on another, I will gently remind myself that it’s not worth my time or energy. I won’t let any clouds get in the way of my sunshine this week, and I hope that this post will inspire you to adopt the same mantra. We all have a glowing sun within us. We can either cloud this beautiful spirit with negative thoughts, constant what-if’s, and judgments about others, or we can think positively and let our inner sun shine. With everything in life – it all comes down to which attitude you choose. Choose wisely.

Happy shining bright,

Have you ever said something that you immediately wished you could take back; regreted making a statement that was hurtful, selfish, or just plain rude? Chances are, you have. And probably more than once. A few days ago, I said something out of line to a loved one, and after seeing them become upset over my unkind words, I immediatley wished I could rewind time. I felt guilty and remorseful, but was too proud to apologize at the time. I went to work and couldn’t stop thinking about what I had said. I felt terrible, and I knew I had to make things right. I immediately jotted down some notes in my planner. They read: “Let go of your ego, say sorry, explain yourself, and allow time for forgiveness.” While my scribbled notes were simple, I wanted to expand on my ideas and share with you four steps to making things right after saying something wrong:

1. Let go of your ego. At first, I was caught up in being defensive and trying to prove myself right. I was set on ”winning” and let my ego do the talking. Later in the day though, I realized how childish I had acted; leading any situation with my ego is never a wise idea. I realized that in this situation, I was wrong and trying to prove that I was right wasn’t going to make the situation any easier to deal with. I opened up my heart and embraced my mistake, instead of trying to fight it. I felt liberated and at peace with myself and was ready to take Step #2.

2. Apologize (but not until you’re ready.) Try not to blurt out “I’m sorry” before you really mean it. If you’re not sorry quite yet, I think it’s better to say, “I want to apologize but before I do so, I need to think about what I did.” Sometimes, you may feel sorry almost instantly. Other times, it may take a bit of time before doing so. Regardless of when you say it, make sure you mean it.

3. Explain yourself (while being honest and not defensive.) Explaining yourself doesn’t mean that you are making excuses or are trying to prove youreslf right. Explaining yourself simply opens the others’ eyes to where you were coming from. While the other party involved may not clearly see your point of view, they may have a better understanding of why you said what you did.

4. Give the other person time to accept your apology. When seeking forgiveness from another, it’s important that you don’t rush them. You can ask then and there if you are forgiven, or you can ask them to let you know when they have accepted your apology and are ready to move forward. Sometimes it will be instantly, other times it may take a day or two. Thankfully in my case, I was forgiven before I even said I was sorry.

The next time you’re in a situation when you wish you could rewind time and say something differently, don’t panic. Just follow my four steps above. Tame your ego and don’t be afraid to admit your faults. Admiting where you went wrong doesn’t mean you are weak, but rather shows you are strong enough to take the blame when necessary. Click here to read a blog post of mine about thinking before you speak. I think we could all use a refresher now and then.

Happy learning and growing,

Happy Friday, y’all!

Click here to read a recently published article of mine on SelfGrowth.com about dealing with worry and anxiety. Enjoy, and have a great weekend!

Happy finding inner peace,

Jordan Brown

Between working, putting the finishing touches on my book, working on my application/personal statement for graduate school, and making time for fun… I am a buzzing busy bee. Thinking about it, I’d even say I’m the busiest I have ever been. But, somehow…I also feel completely happy and at peace. Why is this? It seems so weird that although I am totally overwhelmed with life, I still wake up every day with a smile on my face and with enthusiasm pumping through my veins. After pondering for a few moments in bed this morning, I realized how I had found happiness among extremely busy times. And then this blog post was born. On this busy Tuesday, here are a few tips on how to maintain a happy state of mind, even when you feel completely overwhelmed with life.

1. Stop complaining. If you haven’t already realized, complaining about how little time you have or how much you have to do isn’t going to give you more time or magically erase items off of your to-do list. It will only make you feel more stressed out, more heavily weighed down with negativity. Instead of automatically jumping to complain about how stressed out you are, you can…

2. Start appreciating. Anytime I feel completely overwhelmed with life, I take a few moments to stop whatever I’m doing and to appreciate whatever is making me so busy. I remind myself how thankful I am to have the opportunity to further my education, how excited I am for my upcoming book, and how appreciative I am to be employed, doing a job that I love. Appreciation really seems to put things into perspective for me and helps to remind me of how blessed I am to be busy with tasks that are ultimately bettering my future.

3. Find time to relax every day. By relaxing I don’t mean watching TV or Facebook stalking. Try to do something that completely calms your mind – an activity where your thoughts can be more mindful and peaceful. Some examples of relaxation could include taking a bubble bath, taking a quick nap, meditating (I recommended guided meditations on YouTube or the iPhone app. ‘Simply Being’), exercising, stretching, or yoga. Whatever you choose to do, take at least 10-30 minutes a day to find your inner calm, where you aren’t bogged down by the hustle and bustle of the outside world.

4. Stay organized. It’s easy to feel stressed out when you can’t remember every little thing you need to do or when you forget about important tasks or responsibilities. I tend to feel so much happier and on top of things when I know exactly what needs to be done and when the specific task needs to be completed by. Having a daily planner, where I can write down daily to-do items as well as important dates, is what has always worked best for me.

5. Get excited! Anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself that your hard work will pay off in the end. Look towards your future with optimism and get excited about what’s to come. When feeling swamped with book editing or with writing my personal statement for grad school, I envision how happy I’ll feel when I can hold the first copy proud or when I can pursue new career opportunities with a Master’s degree. Always remember — the bigger the job, the bigger the reward. Get excited!

I hope that these tips serve you well on your quest to find happiness in busy times. We all get stressed out now and then, and that’s totally normal, as long as you don’t let stress cloud your well-being. Let that sun shine inside of you, appreciate your busy times, and know that each and every step inches you closer to greatness.

Happy staying calm,

Click here to view the pretty bookmarks I had made for the book I’m self-publishing this summer. To read about my upcoming book, if you haven’t already, please click here. I’m getting closer and closer every day and am feeling really good about this upcoming project!

Happy achieving,

Jordan Brown

Whether you are a (very much welcomed) newcomer to my blog, wondering “What does Jordan blog about?” or one of my (very much appreciated) regular readers, I created a list of my firm beliefs, referred to as the Pillars of Positivity, which all of my blog posts are related to or focused around:

-Pillars of Positivity-

Attitude

1. Attitude is absolutely everything that you do.

2. Attitude is the one thing you can always control.

3. Despite any circumstances, you can choose to be a product of your attitude.

4.  Your thoughts and attitude together creates your reality.

5. Your attitude is your choice.

Self-Love

1. How you feel about yourself is reflected in everything you do.

2. How you treat others is a mirror of how you feel about yourself.

3. Your self-worth comes from how you feel about yourself, not from how others feel about you.

4. The most powerful words are the words that you say to yourself.

5. Self-confidence is necessary for success in any area of your life.

Happiness

1. The only person stopping you from being happy is you.

2. The easiest way to be happy is to find joy in the smallest of things.

3. By making others happier, you will feel happier yourself.

4. Discover what makes you happy and turn it into a habit.

5. To be your happiest, you must be happy for yourself and by yourself.

Motivation

1. Follow your bliss and motivation will naturally flood to you.

2. Motivation is temporary, but you can make it a permanent routine.

3. Life doesn’t owe you anything: you must create everything for yourself.

4. Life without goals is a life without meaning.

5. Motivation is contagious: lead by example.

Personal Well-being

1. Accepting personal responsibility for your problems allows you to go from victim to victor.

2. Appreciating who you are and what you have in the present will help you get to where you hope to be in the future.

3. A healthy balance is needed between recreation and relaxation in order for one to reach their full potential.

4. Life really is beautiful. It’s just that so many of us pile anxieties, worries, and judgements on top of its greatness, making it hard to see life as it really is.

5. Your life is what you make of it.

If you created your “Pillars of Positivity”, what beliefs would be included? Please share an item or two in the comment section below!

Happy being positive,

Jordan Brown